L. Eric Culverson - www.TheCompetenceMyth.net
This discussion series is abstracted from my book: The Competence Myth - Why your technical skills are no longer enough and what you can do about.
When you look at the world around you, it’s obvious that some things come more easily to certain people than others. As engineers, we typically have a knack for figuring things out, analyzing the situation, and systematically building a logical solution to whatever the issue is. And yet, other people seem to be more comfortable being expressive, engaging, talking, interacting, relating to others.
Now the way I see it, is that those people, could never do what we do. On the other hand, if we are willing to step out beyond our comfort zone, then we can be more engaging, more communicative, and build better relationships. In fact, we can have the best of both worlds.
Yeah, it’s possible, but, there’s a reason we don’t already have that. The very thing that makes us able to be systematic and logical inhibits us from communicating with the outside world. And it doesn’t matter if you are talking or listening. That thing is what I call the “Analytic Mind”. Don’t get me wrong, this is a tremendous resource, and we do not want to lose it, but we do want to tame it. We want to assert control over it rather than having it control us, making us highly effective at work, but sabotaging anything and everything outside of work.
OK, a quick riddle for you. Why did the engineer want both a wife, and a mistress? So both women would just assume he was spending time with the other, while he was at work. Yes, we love what we do, but part of that love is because that’s where we feel safe, and productive, and in control. That is the subconscious and seductive influence of the Analytic Mind. When it comes to numbers, and systems, and quadratic equations, and design flows, we are at our best. We feel empowered and capable. That’s great, but there’s more to life, and if we want to live this life to its fullest, then our relationships with others is critical.
We need to nurture the “engaging mind”, and it’s not a matter of one versus the other, this is not mutually exclusive condition. This is about having, and using both, it’s about balance. In the next post, I tell you how the “Analytic Brain” came to be so powerful, and then how you can start to tame it. See ya!